Damn you, Miss America! You couldn't even let me finish the sentence before forcing it out of me, could you? Don't tell me that it happens to a lot of guys. I swear, it's never happened to me before.
One question: how the fuck do you ever walk away from a mirror? The Bible even says that if you strike a pose that sexy and see your reflection you will turn into a pillar of salt.
A pillar of fucking salt, Katie!
I don't even need to hear your voice, I know what you are telling me with that pose. You're saying I can look all I want but if I get too close you have the power to snap my neck with those rock hard thighs and my dying breath will be one of gratitude for the method of execution.
Yeah, I get it.
Hey, how about using a face full of an almost bare-assed Miss America to interrogate the terrorists? Five seconds with her and they'll start strapping themselves back onto the waterboards.
Yeah, dicklip, that's what's underneath the burqa!
Katie, you have the power to end terrorism and teach me to type one-handed, please don't abuse your awesomeness by doing something stupid like dating Charlie Sheen.
I love you.
Call me.
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